Hey everyone, the time has come - this will be the last proper post I'll be doing from Berkeley. Of course, I've saved the best for last. So, here it is, my 21st gift to all of you faithful back home.
People love stereotyping. Labels are everything. Record labels, clothing labels, yellow post-it notes - everything these days has a label. And no matter how hard you try (or think you try) not to stereotype or judge or label, you inevitably do. You just can't help it.
Why am I going on about all this crap? Well, I want to introduce you to a few characters that I've gotten to know well in the last couple of months. They all have one thing in common, they call the RSF home. Don't know what the RSF is? Shit then, you better catch up here:
http://davidatberkeley.blogspot.com/2009/10/this-isrsf.html
The New Age Arnie
While he pales in comparison to the OG Arnie, this guy is still a beast. He's your typical bodybuilder nugget. Wider than he is tall, and always dressed in a big shirt and tiny shorts, his characteristic self-motivating talk is easily recognisable: "One...arghhhh...Two...yeahhh...Three...c'mon!". You'll usually see him with his bodybuilding buddy, putting in heavy bench sets and old school exercises like weighted upside down crunches while they discuss important topics such as muscle symmetry, lifting form, and of course, the infamous pump.
'God I love this pump, here man touch it...'
The crossfit duo
To be honest, these guys are probably one of the most annoying people in the gym. Sure they work hard and they're fairly clued in on the iron game, but at the end of the day, they always just seem like over-glorified aerobics instructors. I don't mean to hate on cross-fitters (though I believe the Gym Jones guys are way more on the money with conditioning) but the ones you find in commercial and school gyms give them a bad rap.
Why are they annoying? OK, imagine you've just gone through your ritual. The bar on the pins in front of you is loaded so heavy its flexed in the middle. You've paced two times around the rack, wiped your hands down on your towel and closed your eyes and taken 5 deep breaths. You've stepped up, clenched and unclenched your hands one final time and grit your teeth. You're mentally prepared. You're ready to rip this 1RM beast off the pins.
Then, just as your about to pull, you hear this hysterical yelling: 'Yeah dude! We just did Fran in 12 minutes!'
What the hell? Who is this girl Fran? And she let you do what now to her in 12 minutes? Workout ruined. So yeah, besides the fact that crossfit dudes have the weirdest names for their workouts (Murph, Eva, Helen, Dirty Thirty, Filthy Fifty), they are usually the loudest most obnoxious assholes in the gym. It's not the bodybuilders who behave as if they are fueled solely on testosterone and manly high-fives, its the crossfitters. They yell and curse and take up about 3/4 of the gym space with their circuits. Don't get me wrong, those workouts are killer - but seriously, please shut up and lift.
The Solitary Elite Athlete
The first moment you see this guy, you know immediately that he means business. He's the epitome of efficiency. All you see in his eyes are focus. He doesn't speak to anyone. No one speaks to him. The only way you can tell he's not a machine is because you can see him subtly responding to the rhythm in the music that you can just hear coming from his headphones. He's all power. Not the buffest, but definitely the one you least one to meet in a dark alley. You'll find him in his own corner, usually with a pair of heavy dumbells and a box, and the rest is all bodywork.
Actually, the guy is a top bloke and I've worked out with him a couple of times - he's really nice and assuming and would probably never hurt a fly (sound like Adrian?).
Staring down a pair of 100 lb dumbells
This is a little bit harder than your regular jump squat.The dude with the massive chest and nothing else
Do I really need to elaborate? His workout log contains two words only - 'bench' and 'press' and maybe a few abbreviations like 'BB' or 'DB'. That's it. Maybe some people really do find cracking walnuts between their pecs convenient.
The Fat Guy with the Huge Squat
Yeah you all know who I'm talking about. You've seen him. Massive gut, tree trunk legs. Takes 20 minutes at the drink fountain. But my god can he squat. Sorry, no pictures - I couldn't fit his girth in the frame.
The Tortilla Boys
There's a flurry of thick Spanish and a bit of a jostle as the two Mexicans rush to the dumbell rack. These guys make the most ridiculous noises you could ever hear. There characteristic grunts and pants are recognisable from the locker room. Greasy hair and sweaty palms included. Members are required to use towels, not so they can wipe down after themselves, but so they can wipe down after these boys.
'But Julio, I'm so tired.' 'No Pablo just do it or I go loco!'
The Twins
OK, most of the time girls just stay in the cardio area. But there are always the stereotypical twins or sisters, who are usually on the basketball or football or volleyball team that always hit the weights. Word.
What Cathy? Girls can't bench 30? Of course, no one can!
The Massive Asian Guy
No. I wish it was me. But it's this guy. I don't get it though. On average, Asian dudes are short. But why are some of the tallest dudes Asian? The tallest guy in Cal history is a current sophmore who is 7 foot 6. Yes he's on the basketball team. Yes he is the most unco guy I've ever seen.
Not this dude however.
The Skins but no pants Guy
Only two kinds of people are allowed to do this:
1. You have insane quads/hamstrings and can squat like Tom Platz.
2. You have two X chromosomes.
Sorry buddy but you don't fall into either of those categories
Kevin...
One word: calves.
...Matt?
When I told Phil that I'd seen someone who looked exactly like Matt at RSF, only that he was gay (yes you should hear him speak). Phil just laughed and said: 'so what's the difference?'.
And finally, what inspires me most:
He's a paraplegic, and I still see him there 3 times a week. That's dedication.
And there you have it, I'm sure there are many more 'heroes' and 'villains' that I didn't bother singling out, but these were a few that I though would be amusing, interesting, or motivating. Things like this are surprisingly consistent, so next time you're in the gym keep an eye (or ear) out.
Not this dude however.
The Skins but no pants Guy
Only two kinds of people are allowed to do this:
1. You have insane quads/hamstrings and can squat like Tom Platz.
2. You have two X chromosomes.
Sorry buddy but you don't fall into either of those categories
Kevin...
One word: calves.
...Matt?
When I told Phil that I'd seen someone who looked exactly like Matt at RSF, only that he was gay (yes you should hear him speak). Phil just laughed and said: 'so what's the difference?'.
And finally, what inspires me most:
He's a paraplegic, and I still see him there 3 times a week. That's dedication.
And there you have it, I'm sure there are many more 'heroes' and 'villains' that I didn't bother singling out, but these were a few that I though would be amusing, interesting, or motivating. Things like this are surprisingly consistent, so next time you're in the gym keep an eye (or ear) out.
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